Adhruth Yagyaraman

Born To Win…

Flow with the Flow… June 19, 2017

Filed under: Photo,Status — Yagya @ 6:01 AM

On this Father’s Day, we are excited to share that I am becoming a Father again :-). Yes, Subhashree is pregnant again and we are expecting the Second Boy by end of September. 6 years after Adhruth’s delivery, it was a surprise and we took it with mixed emotions. Here is my expression on what happened within a span of 24 hours from learning about the Pregnancy.

It is amazing to see how life brings in a bunch of experiences and learnings at a time when I just need it – not early, not late. Life has its own way and here is one such experience in my life.

On 2nd January 2017 I received an email from Megha with a line “Read The Surrender Experiment – by Michael Singer. I believe it’s just what you were waiting for J”. My first thought was “I am not waiting for any book. I hate reading books”. At the same time, I have learnt the Teacher have their own way and surrendering to the journey, started listening to the audio book. The book was about real life experiences of Michael A Singer, who started living life as a Hippi but ended up owning multi-million dollar company. Audio book was narrated by the author himself and that added authenticity to his experiences. Each chapter talked about his life’s experiences and how in every instance, he had a personal preference of doing something but life threw something unexpected and he decided to give up his personal preference to life’s flow of events and in return how miracles happened every time. On any given day, I could not hear more than a couple of chapters, for each experience was taking me deeper. At the end of some chapters, I would just pause the audio book, close my eyes and sit in a state of non-doing for the experience to settle down.

It was 24th January 2017 at 7:30 pm and I was at Adhruth’s swimming class, when a totally unexpected, unplanned, unprepared and unanticipated surprise came up. Subhashree called me and said that Urine test was positive for the pregnancy. We have discussed about having another kid but every time that topic comes up, we conclude that Adhruth needs so much of our time, attention, effort and help that we may not be able to do justice to another little one now.

As Adhruth was still in pool, I was busy googling to learn abortion rules in America. I did not even think it was possible for us to continue with pregnancy, given Adhurth’s conditions and how much time we spent for his health needs. The moment we reached home from Swimming, there was a grim of Silence. I was very clear in my mind that abortion is the best decision for our family.

Adhruth, completely unaware of what has going on, slept peacefully after being tired from Swimming. Neither of us could sleep. We hardly slept for couple of hours and were restless throughout.

In the morning, I was not able to concentrate on any of my routine. We wanted to meet a doctor and abort as soon as possible. Subhashree agreed with me that it was a more realistic option, keeping our emotions aside.

I gathered enough energy and got ready for work. My plan was to call and get an appointment on my way to work. I know, the more we live with this, there will be an emotional attached to the pregnancy that it becomes much more difficult decision later.

As I started the Car, of the 8000 songs in my phone, this random track of my Guru Mahatria played. The Album was “Flow with the Flow” and this specific track was “Flowing with the Flow”.  It was an instrumental track with Mahatria’s voice guiding

  • Knowing YOU have bigger plans for me, Flowing with the Flow…
  • With this Clarity – I am never alone. YOU are always there with me, within me, Flowing with the Flow…
  • With the realization, you will never give me an experience that is not needed for me, Flowing with the Flow…
  • Hearing you call, “Come…”, I am Flowing with the Flow…

I was so lost with what I was hearing and its randomness. I started the car only after 5 minutes. Still lost in the chain of thoughts, I reached Office. No surprises here, I was unable to concentrate on the work. After an hour, I called Subhashree.

Me: It’s me

Subhashree: Yeah

Me: Not sure why I called or what to talk. How are you

Subhashree: Hmmm.

Me: Did you eat breakfast

Subhashree: Not yet. How are you feeling. What are you thinking

Me: I don’t know how I am feeling. On one side, I am reading this book where Micky explains how he decided to flow with the flow and things have turned out great for him in his life. Then this morning, totally random “Flow with the Flow” track plays in the car. Though, these things are communicating a message to me, I realistically think now is not the right time for us to have another kid. What do you say

Subhashree: I am also confused and tensed. I have always shared everything with my mom and feeling very tight unable to talk to her. Shall I call her and talk

Me: No. Don’t do that now. That may make us guilty, if we decide to abort. Something in me says we should continue but a bigger voice is saying it is not possible and we should abort. So, you please be ready at 4 PM and I will come home and let’s leave immediately and talk to doctors.

Subhashree: Hmm. Ok. Let’s do that.

I reached home and I talked to a Nurse and they said typically they will talk to Subhashree in person first, about the process and give her 24 hours time think through about her decision to abort and if she sticks to that decision then can fix another appointment for abortion. Also, they said that though we can come in and talk to them that evening, earliest counselling is a week from now.

I sat in the recliner silently and after a couple of minutes suddenly said to Subhashree, “Lets go to the Temple”. She was confused. What? Every time when anyone in the home wants to go to the Temple, I have always taken them to the Temple, but never the initiation has come from me. “Seriously. Is that where you want to go now instead of Hospital”. I said, “I am confused beyond explanation and think it is better if we go to the Temple”.

It was a weekday and Hindu Temple of Minnesota opens at 5:30 pm and we were there at 5:45 pm. In fact, me, Subhashree and Adhruth were the only three in the Temple, other than the priests. Idols of all Gods from different parts of India are in individual sanctum sanctorum and usually we start from the left and go all around the temple, worshipping all deities. We started doing that and by the time we were in the middle, at Lord Vishnu’s idol and as we were walking there, we heard the Priest ask, “Any Vishnu Archana sponsors, please come”. After few seconds, he again called out “Any Vishnu Archana sponsors, please come”. I looked around again, there was nobody in the Temple other than us. I told Subhashree, I don’t know why he is asking when it is just us here and we did not plan to do any Archana, but since he is asking, let me pay for the Archana and let’s do it”. The other priest immediately said, “Time’s up, just grab the Archana bag and come and you can pay later”. I quickly ran and grabbed Archana bag and brought it to the priest.

Couple of hours back, I did not plan to be in the Temple and now I am here. Few minutes back, I did not plan for performing an Archana and here I am doing. With these running in my mind, I closed my eyes and stood in front of the alter of God, eyes closed and hands in Prayer position. There was a floodgate of Guru’s voice hitting me hard as if it was waiting for me to close my eyes.

  • Very first though I clearly remember was – Prayer is not something you do to HIM. Prayer is something HE does unto HIMSELF, through YOU. I have remembered many times when my Grand Father has said that, until Tirupathi Balaji decides to call you to his place, you can plan multiple times, but, it will not happen. HE needs to decide to give darshan to you and it will happen only then. He wanted me to be the instrument to do this Archana and I am only an instrument. There should be some reason for HIM to make this happen today.
  • Not every time a Man and Woman have an intercourse, a baby is formed, it needs a Spiritual intervention for a baby to be formed in the womb and that does not happen all times. There is something beyond us that is involved in this process.
  • Don’t think the baby is coming into this world by you. Time for a soul to be born has come and it is happening through you. Be glad you are picked up as the vehicle.
  • Don’t think you are taking care of Adhruth and meeting all his needs by your effort. Not even a Thumb can move if HE decides against it.

As these thoughts were running in my mind, another first time ever, I started crying in the Temple. Still, with my eyes closed, a flash showed me everything great that happened to me in the last few years when it was right time for me. I did not think I will come and live in USA for 4 years. This was needed for Adhruth’s health and HE decided to keep me here. In fact, everything related to my Visa status, job change, interviews, offers, happened in exactly precise time when I needed it, completely out my control.

In fact, I was thinking I was taking care of Adhruth and fulfilling all his medical needs but now I am realizing that HE was taking care of Adhruth every day and I am just a device through which HE is fulfilling Adhruth’s needs. Beyond comprehension, things have happened at the right time when I needed it and here now, I am thinking about bringing in my personal intelligence and preferences to disrupt LIFE’s existential flows. How dumb of me. As I read in Micky’s book, my personal preference was not this choice, but if Life’s miraculous flow is this, who am I to stop this. Why am I thinking about stopping it. I have heard my Guru say, “when Christ was about to be crucified, he said, My Lord, if death be your gift unto me, will I say a NO”, that is Prashadha buddhi. Even if Death is God’s gift, how about a new Life in this world. Is that not a reason for celebration.

I wiped the tears rolling down. Subhashree was confused what was happening to me as this is very new for her. I smiled at her and waited for the Archana to complete. After that, sat down in the Temple to just experience the new experience. Slowly, I told her, “I think, we should this pregnancy, without any hesitation. If something has happened naturally now that even when doctors have told it is not possible, certainly there is a Special power that is playing this game. I just want to go with the flow and don’t disturb. So, once we are out of the Temple, call your Parents first and share the happy news. They are going to be Grand Parents again”. Subhashree smiled and said “When they delayed appointment for a week, I knew something would happen, but not so quick. Though I said let’s go with previous decision, something in me was telling this will happen”.

Those moments made me realize, “In life, when GOD upsets your plan, BE HAPPY. Because, now HIS plans are going to be executed and HIS plans are always right”. I have decided to Flow with the Flow and surrender. In my Surrender, it is no more my responsibility. Yes, I will continue to do everything that I need to do, but it is HIS game now.

I smiled when the next thought that came to me was the Smallest prayer that my Guru has thought just by saying “Sambhalna” looking up. My lord, I have Surrendered to you and its now your game and I am ready as a player. Let’s play this game called LIFE in your way, my Lord. Now, I re-read Megha’s email on January 2nd and understood the meaning of the words “I believe it’s just what you were waiting for J”

Your ways are your ways, my Lord.

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Fall Colors October 23, 2016

This year, we went to the Arboretum to see Fall Colors. Today, we were at Minneopa State Park. This was certainly a last minute visit without lot of planning ahead. We just thought, we will go out and have fun for a 60F day on October 22. Here are pictures taken in both the visits. Once we were half way to Minneopa State Park, realized we did not carry our Camera but decided to put iPhone 7 plus camera to more test. Certainly iPhone does not replace the DSLR, but impressed with picture quality for sure.

 

Happy Birthday Adhruth October 3, 2016

Filed under: Me to Adhruth,Photo — Yagya @ 7:53 AM
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My Dear Adhruth

6 years back, at this exact moment (scheduling this post to match time) is when you came into this Beautiful World. I still remember clearly when Subhashree was feeling uncomfortable at home. We were set expectation that you will come out anytime now. We called Doctor and she asked us to get Subhashree to the Hospital immediately. It was a Sunday morning and we drove from Kundanahalli to Manipal Hopsital in less than 15 minutes. Doctor had got all nurses, staff ready there and Subhashree was taken into the delivery room immediately on arriving at the Hospital. Doctor came out of the delivery room and showed us you – our bundle of joy and said you came into this World at 7:42 AM (Now, living in Minneapolis, technically that translates to October 2, 9:12 PM)

You are always Happy and the smile in your face is what gives us enough strength to face everything. You are a very strong guy who can face any adversities of life. Yes, we do get frustrated or irritated at times, but you surprise us  by things you do. Looking back, you went in your bus ride to School (without any of us) when you were just over 3 years, you laugh taking your growth hormone shots, you think it is a play – drinking milk through G Tube. You are the bravest I have seen. It is in your responses, that we actually feel much better doing what we do.

Life has never been the same again for us (and you, of course). Here is a compilation of you in this journey. I matched all pictures that were taken around your birthday time so that we can cherish your growth.

 

Ganesha Chathurthi September 5, 2016

Filed under: Photo,Status — Yagya @ 10:12 PM
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It is Lord Ganesha’s birthday and time for Celebration :-). Madhu’s parents are here in Minneapolis and Adhruth is having fun time with Grand Parents around. Here is pics of our Ganesha Chathurthi celebrations… After a long time, took some good close up shots of Adhruth in our house.

 

Niagara, Niagara, Niagara August 17, 2016

Filed under: Photo,Status — Yagya @ 8:18 AM
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That time of the year when we plan for a Trip. Yes – It is Subhashree and my Birthday week last week and finally we visited Niagara after lot of planning. Decided we will not even think of driving from Minneapolis and booked flight tickets. Not much of direct flights and took the flight from Minneapolis on Thursday night and reached Buffalo by mid night (an hour ahead from Minneapolis).

By the time we settled down it was close to 1 AM. Slept till 8 AM in the morning and started our drive to see Niagara. Buying Discovery Pass ahead of time online helped to get the tickets in hand. Walked from the Visitor Ceter and entered the Niagara Park.

It was a majestic view of the falls in front of the eyes. Initially heard Friday, Saturday will be crowded as illumination happens at night. But the hot and humid weather kept many people out I think. There was no wait for us to get to the Observation center and go down in the lift and get into the boat for Maid of the Mist trip. I have to agree one thing – I have seen many pictures with blue coat over people but did not imagine how wet it would be. Until we experience, the wetness, it is hard to imagine. But in that trip the view of the falls was the best. Majestic water falls in full view and water from the falls making us wet. We did not have Visa to enter the Canada side and hence this was the best view.

We were back in the Park in the evening and Adhruth enjoyed walking and playing in the grass. Looking at the Color of the Sky during Sunset was an experience. It was followed by Illumination of the falls. Lights focussed on the walls made it colorful and words cannot explain the experience.

Next day, we did some shopping and had South Indian food in Chennai Express restaurant. Bisibele bath and the spicy Chilli pagoda brought tears in eyes :-). Our flight back to Minneapolis was on Sunday morning and that helped us to recover from quick trip to get ready for Monday.

Oh. Not to leave this out – second tooth is down for Adhruth in this trip 🙂

 

Weekend trip to Duluth July 31, 2016

Filed under: Photo,Status — Yagya @ 7:40 AM
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Our very first trip out of Minneapolis was to Duluth in August 2013. After 3 years, we decided to make a weekend trip to Duluth in the end of July. We thought starting from Home by Friday afternoon will make it easy but the road work on the way slowed us a bit, but reached duluth by evening. Visited Split Rock lighthouse on Saturday morning – what a beautiful view of Lake Superior. From there, we headed to Scenic Rail Road train ride. Only after we boarded the Train, realized this was Adhruth’s first ever rail raid. Adhruth enjoyed the ride very well. He stood on the seat and watched things going by fast. Walked in the Downtown Duluth next morning and did some shopping before heading back to Minneapolis.

 

Getting started with In-Home Therapy July 28, 2016

Filed under: Photo,Status — Yagya @ 8:45 AM
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Adhruth has always amazed us on how quickly he adapts to new things. Initially we were worried about him getting ready for School at 7 AM, then it was about him taking a Bus to the School (with an aid), then it was about long day at School as we moved to Cliffs. Everytime, we were worried, Adhruth overcame things very easily and adapted to new changes pretty quick. Here is another HUGE change – this time not just for him but also for Madhu.

Late last year, after official diagnosis of Autism, we started getting Adhruth eligible for Minnesota State Insurance. Autism is considered a disability for insurance and providing Home Based Therapy services. Along with that, we were working on multiple Therapy organizations to receive Services. We received MN TEFRA approval and Insurance details within 4 months.

After around 8 months of working with 3 different Therapy providers, finally we got started with Behavior Therapy Solutions from June 1st of 2016 for ABA Therapy Services. Adhruth finished his School year on June 9th and we are fully into Home Therapy for 2 months.

Based on Doctor recommendation, Adhruth will be provided 35-40 hours of Therapy services at Home. Adhruth has a Team of Behavior Therapist, Senior Behavior Therapist, Treatment Supervisors. Initial month was for the Therapist to get familiar with Adhruth, his routine, likes and dislikes and doing things that he likes the most (not to forget to mention, they take him out for a walk during sessions in his wagon / bike and that is the most loved part for Adhruth)

Morning Sessions goes from 8:30 – Noon and afternoon Session from 12:30 to 4:30. Two different therapists will come for a day. Currently Adhruth has all 5 morning sessions and 2 days afternoon sessions.

Here comes the part we were worried about – how will Adhruth do with new people coming to the house, how will he get used to this routine, he is used to taking nap in the afternoon – how can he do full day sessions, does he have enough energy to do full day sessions, will this benefit him, how do we change his feeding routine to get used to this, this meant 2 people (strangers to begin with) will always be at home with us and how to get used to that and so on. This is just few questions out of our big intelligent mind.

Adhruth, in his own way surprised us in all aspects. He loves the Team of Therapists – in fact looks forward to meeting them everyday. He loves to take bath, get ready early (since his School prior was at 11, we can do things slow) and be prepared. Eats food in break and before and end of sessions. Nap – oh that is not needed and instead playing and following Therapists demands is good. In the last 2 months (ok, 2 more days to go) – we had to cancel only 2 sessions (in the last minute) as Adhruth slept.

Adhruth has started following their demands and Therapists think he is doing much better than what they thought of. Also, on the lighter side, he is more interested to follow Therapist demands but play around ours 🙂 He knows the difference between Therapists and parents 🙂

We are looking forward to continue Home based ABA Therapy instead of next School Year. When Adhruth loves the process and puts effort – results will come. Looking forward for more surprises from Adhruth and he has always exceeded our expectations 🙂

 

 
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